


Children of the Revolution

by CelestialVapidity



Series: Trans fics [7]
Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: AU, Abuse, Canon Gay Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Cats, Child Abuse, Cinnamon the python, Dogs, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Everyone is Trans, F/F, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Investigations, Jasper the Cat, Kostya the dog - Freeform, Lesbian Character, Marijuana, Mommy Issues, OC Pets - Freeform, POV Lesbian Character, Pets, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pythons, Queerphobia, Recreational Drug Use, Red is the animal whisperer and Nicky is her animal apprentice, Snakes, Summer Romance, Teen AU, There are pet OCs bc im trash, Trans Female Character, Trans! Alex, Transphobia, Tree Climbing, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Verbal Abuse, Victim Blaming, ill tag it anyway, more tags to come probably, not really underage bc there's only implied sex but still, rare pairs, spaghetti and bowling balls, trans! Nicky, underage sex (implied)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 17:24:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8722447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialVapidity/pseuds/CelestialVapidity
Summary: AU and OOC. Trans teens Alex and Nicky get together and act gay. Because they are.





	1. Spaghetti and Bowling Balls

**Author's Note:**

> Alex/Nicky is such a great ship. Idk why it's not that popular. Also, I love trans OITNB HCs more than I love myself. I came up with this AU several months ago, but I'm just now writing it. I made 2 moodboards, and a goddamn playlist. Bc I'm trash. Anyway, expect lots of queer stuff and secrets being revealed. I'll probably add the moodboards and playlist later. For now, enjoy the first chapter.

It starts with a bowling ball, and a bored Alex sitting in the backyard of her and her mom’s new house. Mainly a large black bowling ball landing in her backyard, narrowly missing her foot. She yelps in surprise.

            “What the fuck?!” Alex cries.

            “Oh shit! Sorry mate. Hang on, I’ll come around,” says an unfamiliar voice.

            Alex is baffled. But she sees the back-gate swings open a moment later, to reveal a girl with a mane of dirty blonde hair, and big brown doe eyes. She grins sheepishly.

            “Sorry about that. I just got really pissed. Needed to throw shit. You understand.”

Alex, in all honesty, isn’t sure that she _does_ understand. But she nods. This causes the girl to grin wider. Alex steps back, nervously. The girl laughs.

            “Relax! I don’t bite! Unless you’re into that,” She winks. “I’m Nicky. And you are?”

            “Alex. I’m…I’m new in town. Wanna tell me why you were so angry that you threw a bowling ball at me?”

            “My m-…My _guardian_ , was being an absolute bitch. More than usual. I figured that ‘losing’ some fancy bowling ball she bought for decoration would be an adequate revenge,” Nicky’s smirking.

            Alex is a little perturbed. But she merely smiles. She doesn’t want to scare off her first potential friend in this new town.

            “Understandable, I guess,” she replies.

            Nicky walks over. She plunks her ass down next to Alex. She smiles at her, trying her hardest to convey friendliness. Alex decides to give her new neighbor a chance. Her mom is at work, and its summer. No school, a new town, and nobody to entertain her. She might as well.

            They begin to chat. Really chat, instead of the strange introductions that they started with. Alex finds out that Nicky’s legal guardian and birthmother is a woman named Marka, but that Nicky rarely stays at her house, instead staying with her ‘real ma’. A fiery Russian woman named Red. She finds out that Nicky’s surname is Nichols. She laughs too hard. She finds out that Nicky’s a 17-year-old lesbian (like Alex herself), and that she has a cat named Jasper.

            Nicky finds out about Alex as well. Including that she’s also 17 and gay. Alex apparently lives with her mother, a kind and hard-working woman named Diane. She doesn’t have any pets, but she wouldn’t be opposed to getting one. Her last name is Vause. Her birthfather split as soon as he found out her mother was pregnant. But she’s happy to have her mother, and considers her to be more than enough.

            Their gentle conversation is eventually interrupted by the backdoor opening to reveal a middle-aged woman with blue eyes and black hair.

            “Allie, baby, I’m home. What do you want for dinner?” The woman, apparently, Diane Vause, sees Nicky. “Who’s your friend?”

            “Mom, this is Nicky. Nicky, this is my mom,” Alex introduces them.

            “Well, Nicky, would you like to stay for dinner?”

            Nicky glances between Diane, who’s got a gentle smile, and Alex, who’s looking at her with raised eyebrows. She shifts, suddenly skittish. But she really doesn’t want to go back to Marka’s. And she knows that Red is out of town, visiting her sons.

            “Uh…If that’s ok. I mean, I don’t wanna intrude or whatever,” Nicky stammers.

            “Nonsense! You’re welcome to join us. As long as you wash up before dinner, that is. Now come on it, you two,” Diane replies, before walking inside.

            They end up making spaghetti, with Nicky insisting on helping however she can. They all sit down on an old red couch, and chat happily. The spaghetti sauce is from a jar, and the cheese is the kind that comes as a powder in a green plastic cylinder. But Nicky can’t remember any gourmet restaurants providing a more satisfying meal.


	2. Mothers and Cats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicky gets ready for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Transphobia, homophobia, queerphobia, verbal abuse, child abuse, misgendering, and gender dysphoria. Also, I just love Nicky having a rescued cat named Jasper. Jasper the cat: https://thumb7.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/3921023/540228259/stock-photo-brindle-cat-portrait-540228259.jpg .Don't ask me why. According to Google translate, Moya Devushka means my girl.

 

        After dinner that night, Nicky says her goodbyes to Alex and Diane. She walks over to her own house, praying that Marka won’t be there. As she unlocks the door, her fears are proved true.

        She sighs. Marka’s arguing on the phone with Paolo again. Nicky’s slinking toward the staircase when she hears it.

        “Nicholas, you’re finally here. Out with your faggot friends again?”

        Nicky cringes, trying to hold back tears. Today had been such a great day. “I was just on a walk. I’m going to bed.”

        Nicky trudges upstairs and to her room, before collapsing on her bed, sobbing. She figures that she should be used to it by now. She pulls out her phone to text Red.

        ‘ _Ma, let me kno when it’s a good time 2 call u. I’m gonna shower, but afterwards, we should talk if u can. Ily’_

        Nicky tosses her phone onto the bed, getting up. She grabs some clothes and a towel, before heading to her bathroom. After ridding herself of clothing, she stares at herself in the mirror.

        Hormones had helped greatly, and she’s able to make her voice sound feminine enough. She has developed breasts, and a generally feminine structure. She looks at the area between her legs. She is, in all honesty, debating bottom surgery. She sighs, and gets into the hot water.

        After cleaning her body, she dresses and heads back to her bedroom to see if Red’s replied yet. She feels her lips twitch upward in a smile as she sees the notification on her lockscreen.

        ‘ _Now would be fine.’_

        Nicky quickly unlocks her phone and presses the call button. She chews her bottom lip anxiously as she hears the ringing. She can’t wait for Red to be home.

        “Hi Ma!”

        “Hello, Nikita. How’s my girl?” Nicky’s heart swells at hearing her name. Red had helped her pick it out. She had explained that Nikita was a usually masculine Russian name, but that she had heard of a few girls named Nikita, and that she could still be Nicky. Nicky had fallen in love with the name.

        “I’m pretty good now. Marka was being a transphobic ass, as usual. But I made a new friend.”

        “Oh really? Hmph. As soon as I can, I’ll give her a piece of my mind. I hope your new friend is nice.” Red sounds irritated as she speaks of Marka, but happy otherwise.

        Nicky smiles, and continues to tell Red about her day, and then listen as Red does the same. She loves hearing about Red’s day. She knows that Red loves hearing about hers just as much.

        “So, when will you be back?” Nicky can’t help but be impatient.

        Red chuckles. “Soon, moya devushka. I promise. A few more days”

        Conversation soon dissipates, and they say their goodbyes and I love yous. Nicky curls into bed happily that night. Despite Marka being an ass, her day has been good. She sees a pair of glowing golden eyes in the darkness. 

              She chuckles, and clicks her tongue in invitation. She sees the eyes get closer, before feeling a pressure on her lap. She grins.              

        “Hey Jas. I missed you!” She kisses the cat’s forehead. He’s a scruffy brindle mix.               

        She had found him as a kitten on the sidewalk, while on her way home from school. She had immediately picked him up and tucked him into her coat. After much persuasion and begging, she had been allowed to keep the little ball of fur.

        Jasper purrs and nuzzles his mistress happily. Half of his left ear is missing, and he has a bob tail, but he’s cute in his own way. Or at least, Nicky thinks so. She lays back, feeling Jasper curl against her. She closes her eyes, his warmth and gentle purring tucking her into a deep sleep.


	3. I Want You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex spends the day at Nicky's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been really sick, but I'm getting better, so expect regular updates again. Yes, Alex and Nicky are both trans women in this. I love trans headcanons and AUs. However, I'm a trans man, not a trans woman. So if I get anything wrong, or accidentally say something offensive, please tell me so that I can correct it. The songs featured in this chapter are I Love Playing With Fire by the Runaways, and I Want You by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Jasper the cat: https://thumb7.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/3921023/540228259/stock-photo-brindle-cat-portrait-540228259.jpg . Warning: This chapter contains mentions of and implied alcoholism, as well as some kissing.

        Alex wakes up early. Not early enough to say anything to her mother in the morning, but early enough to hear the seagulls call to each other. Early enough that the coffee downstairs is still hot.

            She smiles and pours a cup. She sips, lazily, thinking about yesterday. She has a friend. That’s new.

            After finishing her coffee, she decides to get ready and go see if Nicky wants to hang out. She quickly showers, and takes her estrogen. She puts together a casual outfit. A faded band t-shirt and ripped jeans.

            With a touch of make-up, her teeth brushed, and her hair combed, she’s ready for the day. She quickly slips on her shoes, and walks next-door. She knocks nervously on the door. Despite being in the same neighborhood, Nicky’s house is in much better condition.

            A moment later, an older blonde woman answers the door. She’s scowling, and smells of alcohol. Alex fights not to make a face.

            “Yes?”

  
            “Uh, I’m here to see Nicky? Is she home?”

            The woman chuckles, but it isn’t kind. It’s mocking. She moves to let Alex inside. “First door on the left.”

            Alex thanks the woman, and follows her directions. She can hear muffle rock music through the door, but can’t make out what it is. She knocks. Nicky opens her door, and her face brightens immediately upon seeing Alex.

            “Hey Vause! Come on in! I hope Marka wasn’t a total bitch to you,” Nicky welcomes her in, easily.

            “She was fine. Drunk, I think, though. I hope it’s ok that I’m here. I just…I don’t really have any other friends here. I mean, if we even are friends that is…”

            Nicky laughs at her rambling. “Don’t worry, Morticia, we’re two gay peas in a pod. You can come over whenever.”

            Alex is surprised with how at ease she feels in Nicky’s room. It’s larger than her own bedroom. It’s decorated mostly in light blues, and posters, with a few pieces of furniture.

            Nicky sits in a blue bungee chair, and grabs the remote to her CD player. She turns down the music, so they can talk. Alex finally recognizes the music.

            _Actin’ tough with looks that kill_

_You got me goin’ and I can’t stand still_

_My arms are dyin’ to hold ya tight_

_Oh, you’re my little dark dynamite_

Minutes pass, and the songs, and words between them change. Conversation between them is easy. They talk about anything and everything. Well, anything and everything that isn’t a secret to the other, that is.

            Neither of them delves into the topic of gender. Nicky doesn’t talk about her relationship with Marka. Alex doesn’t talk about her own financial issues.

            Alex’s eyes travel around the room, taking everything in, as they talk. The music posters include Joan Jett, the Runaways, Tegan and Sara, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, and Studio Killers, among others. The brunette is pleased at her friend’s taste. It’s very good, and very gay.

            Her gaze lands on the spot next to her, on the bed, upon which there’s a mass of fur, that seems to be breathing. Alex smiles. This must be Jasper.

            Despite her curiosity about Nicky’s room, her eyes keep returning to the girl in question. Nicky’s crass and crude, but Alex can tell that the blonde merely talks that way because it was how she was raised. She isn’t rude on purpose.

        Nicky goes to sit beside her on the bed. She’s got a smirk on her face. As a new song starts, Alex is suddenly all kinds of nervous.

_I want drugs_

_I want booze_

_I wanna mess with anything I like to use_

        Nicky scoots closer. She’s slow and careful. She doesn’t want to scare her off.

_I wanna spend a ton of cash_

_I want a fancy car that I can crash_

        Nicky places a hand on Alex’s leg. The taller girl can feel her own heart beating way too fast. This is really happening.

        “Can I kiss you, Vause?”

        Alex surges forward, and presses her lips against the blonde’s. Nicky laughs quietly into the kiss. It’s rough, but Alex loves it anyway.

_But I want you, like I never wanted anything else before_

_I want you like I never wanted anything else before_


	4. Beach Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicky and Alex have a date on the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Nicky go on a date. Kostya is my on creation. Red is totally the type to get a big sweet dog, imo. Kostya the East Siberian Laika: http://www.dogbreedplus.com/dog_breeds/images/east-siberian-laika.jpg .WARNING: This chapter contains kissing (lips and neck), mentions of euthanasia, mentions of rabid animals, and mentions of animal death.

            Their first real date, if you can call it that, happens when Nicky shows up at her house, inviting her to go to the beach. Alex happily accepts, and gets into the car. She writes her mother a note and grabs her swimming gear, before leaving.

            ‘ _Going out with Nicky. Might be home late. I’ll call you if anything changes. There’s left over pasta in the fridge. Love you.’_

They drive easily, chatting over the radio. Suddenly, a large, black and white dog sticks its head between the front seats, and barks. Alex jumps, startled.

            Nicky laughs. “Yeah, that’s Kostya. He’s my ma’s. I’m supposed to take him outside to exercise during the day, while she’s gone.”

            Kostya curiously smells Alex’s hand, before licking it. Alex smiles, and pets his head. “He’s cute. What kind is he?”

            “Siberian Laika. She got him from Russia. He and Jasper are best buds, luckily. It’s usually a pain to get cats and dogs to be friends.”

            “You sure seem to be good with animals.”

            Nicky blushes, glancing at Alex. “Yeah. I work at an animal shelter, when I’m not working with Red. At the shelter, I have to be gentle, y’know? I work in the rabies shack sometimes.”

            Alex raises a brow. “’Rabies shack’?”

            “Oh, uh, yeah. I work at a no-kill shelter. So, they don’t put down the rabid dogs. The rabid dogs are put in a little building, separate from the rest of the shelter. They get fenced in areas within the building, and are spaced apart. Until we can cure them, or find something to do with them, we keep them there.”

            “Oh…Shit. That’s…Hard.”

            Nicky’s face turns slightly stony. “Yeah.” She quirks her lips up in a tiny smile. “But, I’m glad they get to live safely. A lot of shelters don’t wanna deal with rabid animals, so they just put them down. Mostly, it’s to protect other animals and people, which is a good reason. But still. It’s sad. Oh, we’re here!”

            Nicky and Alex unload their supplies out of the car, Kostya jumping out, and barking excitedly. The beach is empty, amazingly, and looks beautiful. Kostya takes off toward the water, yipping in happiness.

            Nicky chuckles. “He’s not a puppy anymore, but he still acts like it sometimes. Let’s set up our blankets. There’s a place to change over there.”

            Alex takes her things, and changes clothes. She comes out to see Nicky swimming with Kostya, laughing as she does. Alex smiles. _She’s so damn adorable._

            She joins Nicky and Kostya, playing in the water. Nicky grabs her, takes a breath, and drags her just under the surface, pressing their lips together. She feels Nicky exhale into her open mouth, before letting her go.

            Soon, they’re lying on the soft blankets on the sand. The sun is slowly drying and warming them, as they cuddle. Nicky spoons her, a hand on her hip, pressing kisses to her neck.

            “Hey Nick?”

            “Mm?”

            “Are we…y’know…Girlfriends now?” Alex is terrified of her answer.

            Nicky moves her lips from Alex’s neck. “Do you wanna be?”

            Alex bites her lip, and places her hand on Nicky’s. “Yeah. If you want to. I really like you.”

Nicky chuckles at her nerves. She pulls Alex closer, until they’re pressed tightly against each other. “Good. Then you’re my girlfriend now. And I’m yours.”

            Nicky resumes her slow neck kisses, and Alex sighs contentedly. She shuts her eyes, and smiles. At the moment, she’s perfectly content.


	5. Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex worries, and Nicky is a good girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating anything for a while. I've been having family related things going on, and have been unable to write much. And, for those of you that have requested stories, they should be up soon. For now, enjoy this. Also, the movie Murder Party is real, and it's really good. WARNINGS: This chapter contains mentions of anxiety attacks, mentions of and heavily implied sex, mentions of sexual assault, kissing, implied transphobia, and mentions of murder.

            Alex is lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering _how the fuck_ she’s going to tell Nicky. Just as she begins feeling the beginnings of an anxiety attack, her phone buzzes. She picks it up, finding a text from her girlfriend.

            ‘ _yo. U in the mood 4 watchin stuff??? I found weird shit online’_

            Alex quickly responds. _‘what kinda weird shit?’_

_‘lmao, come over and find out babe’_

            Alex huffs out a quiet laugh. She quickly freshens up, and heads to Nicky’s. Marka’s car is gone from the driveway. _Thank God._ She knocks on the door.

            Nicky answers. She’s dressed in an old grey t-shirt, and navy gym shorts. She grins.

            “Hey. You’re not bothered by horror movies, are you?”

            “Not usually.”

* * *

 

        They’re half an hour into Murder Party, when Alex decides to say something. They’re on the couch, curled up together, and Alex can’t help but be terrified. Not of the movie, but of what Nicky will say.

            “Hey, Nick?”

            “S’up babe?” Nicky’s eyes are still glued to the screen, where a group of artists are debating how to kill the protagonist.

            “I need to talk to you about something…”

            That catches Nicky’s attention. She pauses the movie, and turns to Alex. She holds her hand gently. “What’s on your mind?”

            _Here goes nothing._ “I’m trans. If that’s a problem, I wanna know now, before things go any further.”

            Nicky’s eyes widen for a second, before she begins cackling. _No. Oh, fuck, she’s one of_ those. Alex must look terrified, because Nicky stops laughing.

            “Babe, me too. I figured you knew that. Y’know, when we cuddle and shit, that’s not my elbow you’re feeling.”

            The brunette’s eyes widen in shock. She hugs Nicky tightly, crying. Nicky rubs her back soothingly.

            When Alex pulls back, the shorter blonde kisses her hard. She feels their teeth click against each other, and hears Nicky huff out a laugh. Nicky moves a hand to her thigh.

            “So, with the problem of our junk out of the way, you think we could take things to the next level? I’ve got protection and lube. It’s totally fine if you don’t wanna do anything, though. I’m down with whatever you’re down with.”

            Alex smiles. Out of all her previous partners, none of them had ever said anything about it being fine if she didn’t want to have sex. She’s never been sexually assaulted, but the point still stands that Nicky makes her feel safe enough that either answer would be acceptable.

            “I’ve uh…Only done it with cis girls before. So, I might need a little guidance. But, yeah, I’d really like to, if you’re comfortable with it.” Alex is red-faced, and her heart is beating hard.

            Nicky grins, and stands up. She holds out her hand to Alex. “Shall we head upstairs, my lady?” The brunette laughs, and takes her hand, allowing Nicky to lead her upstairs, and to her bedroom.


	6. Lioness and Cub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicky spends the night at Red's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter is about 100 words longer than the previous ones. I know some of you have been wanting longer chapters, and by longer you probably meant at least 1,000 words. This isn't that long, but it is longer. Still, I hope you enjoy! Also 'ona-lev' means 'she-lion' in Russian according to Google Translate. I picked 'she-lion' and not 'lioness' because lionesses don't have manes, and the nickname was poking fun at her hair. You'll understand once you get to that part of the chapter. Kostya the East Siberian Laika: http://www.dogbreedplus.com/dog_breeds/images/east-siberian-laika.jpg . I hope you enjoy! WARNING: This chapter contains referenced abuse, threats of violence, and food.

        When Marka gets home that night, Nicky already has a bag packed. Her clothes are too thin for the weather, but she didn't have time to change and pack. She kisses Jasper's head, and climbs out the window. She really can't deal with her birthmother ruining things right now.

        Red's finally back from visiting her sons, and Nicky knows that she'll be let in for the night. She gets a bus into another section of the city, and gets off near Red's neighborhood. She strolls toward the house, and knocks. She has a key, but she figures knocking first would be polite, since Red isn't expecting her.

* * *

        Red answers the door, to find her daughter shivering, with a bag slung over her shoulder. Nicky offers a sheepish smile, and steps inside. Red shuts the door behind her.

        "What'd she do this time?"

        Red knows that Marka is a poor excuse for a mother. However, she doesn't know how bad it is _. If she knew, she'd kill Marka herself._

        "Nothing out of the ordinary. I just…I couldn't deal with it tonight. Today was actually really great, and I didn't want her to ruin it."

        "A really good day, huh? Tell me about it while I put some tea on."

        Nicky knows that Red is trying to remind her of the good things to keep her happy. It's working. She trails behind Red, into the kitchen, and climbs to sit on a counter. Red glares, but doesn't move her.

        "Well…I've got a new girlfriend." Red looks up from the kettle and smiles a little.

        "That's good. Tell me about her."

        Nicky launches into her story of their beach date, and that Alex is fine with her being trans. She doesn't tell Red that Alex is trans too _. I'm not gonna out my girl. Even if it's to Red. That'd be a dick move._

* * *

        By the time the tea is ready, Red knows enough about Alex to decide that she's an acceptable girlfriend for her daughter. She pours them both cups of Earl Grey, putting milk in Nicky's, and sits down across from her, Kostya at her feet. Nicky takes the tea gratefully, wanting the warmth from the drink.

        "She sounds nice. But if she hurts you, just tell me, and I'll cut her tits off."

        Nicky chuckles in response. Red says the last part about all of her girlfriends. She knows that back in Russia, Red was involved in some dangerous stuff in order to support her family, but that it's over now. She doesn't know much else.

        "I'm assuming you're spending the night? You've got a bag with you."

        "If that's ok with you."

        "Of course. Just finish your tea, and get ready for bed. I have some clean towels if you want a shower. But I can't say that I have any extra-strength conditioner, Ona-lev." Red smirks at her, teasingly.

        Nicky pouts. "I'm not a damn lion! And my hair is _fine_ , Ma!"

* * *

        After going through her before-bed routine, Nicky climbs into bed with her mother. Red wraps an arm around her. Nicky curls into her. She feels Red chuckle against her.

        "Are you comfortable? You know I have a guest bed."

        "Um…Do you want me to go?" Nicky's suddenly nervous.

        Red tightens her grip on Nicky. "Don't be silly. Now go to sleep."

* * *

        The next morning, Nicky helps Red prepare breakfast, as well as take care of the pets Red's accumulated. She feeds them, and lets out the dog, before joining Red in the kitchen. She finds her mother preparing fried eggs and kolbasa.

        "What can I do?"

        "Get some plates, dill, and whatever other seasonings you want. And put on some coffee or tea."

* * *

        After setting the table, Red lets Kostya back inside. He immediately stalks over to Nicky, hoping for a bite. Nicky reaches for a piece of meat.

        " _Nicky._ " Red's glaring. "If you feed him at the table, he'll beg at every meal. Save him a piece for afterwards, if you want."

        Nicky smiles, and the big black and white dog walks off to curl up in a patch of sunlight, streaming in the window. Breakfast really is delicious. After they finish, Nicky helps to clear the table. She doesn't forget to toss Kostya a piece, and he thanks her with lick to her hand and a wagging tail.


	7. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex misses a few texts from Nicky, and decides to see what's going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is angstier than the rest. Also, the plot's getting moving, now that we have the introductions and set-ups out of the way. Sorry this took so long, btw. Writer's block is a bitch. Also, I've never done weed, so if the high is unrealistic, then sorry. Anyway, I googled it, and it says that secondhand pot smoke is unlikely to cause harm to cats. Also, I do not in any way mean to promote or condone underage drinking or drug use. If you're going to drink or use drugs, please make sure you are 25+. That's the age when your brain finishes developing. If you drink or use drugs before that, it can damage your brain. And stay away from the really hard drugs (like meth and heroin) too. I hope you enjoy! Jasper the cat: https://thumb7.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/3921023/540228259/stock-photo-brindle-cat-portrait-540228259.jpg . WARNING: This chapter contains discussion of emotional and verbal abuse, implied transphobia, victim blaming, underage drug use, and mentions of underage drinking.

_'_ _hey Alex the gr8 wanna let me crash at ur place?'_

_'_ _can I stay w u tonite, seriously?'_

_'_ _ill bring my own stuff.'_

_'_ _i cant stay at red's'_

_'_ _pls?'_

* * *

_'_ _Fuck, sorry nicky. My phone died. You still wanna come over?'_

_'_ _Nicky?'_

* * *

Nicky looks at her phone, seeing the texts from Alex. She turns her head away, earbuds channeling soothing music into her head, as she takes a drag off of the joint. She stares at her Jasper, who's curled up beside her.

"Your fur is so fuckin' pretty, Jas. Can I shave you? Make a coat of your fur? Is that cool with you?"

She turns back to her phone, to find that several minutes have passed and Alex has called twice. Then a text notification pops up. _Oh shit._

' _I'm coming to your house. Unlock your window."_

 _Too late now._ Nicky hums, and rolls onto her stomach. She glances up when she hears knocking on her window.

Alex is standing there, looking worried. Nicky gives her a thumbs-up, and the tall brunette opens the window, without much difficulty. Her nose scrunches up as soon as she enters the room.

"Is that weed?"

The look on Alex's face is adorable, and Nicky laughs. The taller girl's face grows concerned, and the blonde stops laughing. She waves her hand, dismissively.

"It's fine. I barely do it."

"You shouldn't do any drugs until your brain's done cooking, Nick. It can fuck up your memory. I stopped drinking, because I found that out. I don't wanna not be able to remember anything after I'm 50.

Nicky pouts, but drops the joint into a mostly-empty glass of juice, putting it out. _It was almost gone anyway._ She yawns, and stretches, before patting the bed, inviting Alex to join her.

The brunette sits next to her girlfriend. Nicky purrs in approval, as Alex rubs a hand up and down her back. She moves her head into the taller girl's lap, and grins when she feels a hand running through her hair.

"So, what's going on? Why did you beg to stay over, and why are you high?"

Nicky's grin fades, as the reality comes back to her. She buries her face into Alex's thigh, and growls. She really doesn't want to talk about it. Alex tugs her hair a little.

"None of that. Now talk to me. I wanna help."

"Marka doesn't like me."

"Did she hurt you?"

"I mean, not physically."

Alex sighs, but continues petting her. Nicky curls in on herself, but doesn't move her head away. She appreciates the comfort of her girlfriend.

"She always says mean things, y'know? And I know I'm kind of a shitty kid to have, but…She's such a bitch! And it's not like I can go stay with Red every night! She'd fucking ask questions. I can't take her finding out, Al…What if she decides she doesn't want damaged goods for a daughter?"

Nicky only realizes she's crying, when she feels Alex pull her up, and hold her close. The blonde lets out a little sob, and curls into her girlfriend's embrace. The brunette presses a kiss to her forehead.

"You're not a shitty kid. You're wonderful. And if you can't stay at Red's, then you can come stay with me. But Nicky, if Red's any kind of a mother, she won't judge you for being abused."

"Al, she didn't hit me. It wasn't- "

"She doesn't have to hit you, Nick. What kind of mean things does she say?"

Nicky cries harder, and clings to Alex. "Just…Fuckin' slurs and shit. She calls me… a mistake. And other shit."

"I'm gonna get you out of this shit, Nick. I promise."


	8. Planning a Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Nicky meet with Red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for how long it took me to publish this. But here it is! According to Google Translate, 'Ya vydokhnu eto chertovo der'mo! Klyanus' trakhat' Boga, ya ub'yu yeye! Ona ili umret, ili pozhaleyet, chto k tomu vremeni, kak ya zakonchil s ney' means 'I'l gut that fucking shit, I swear! I swear to fucking God, I'll kill her! She'll either die or wish she was dead by the time I finish with her!' and 'Ne boysya, malen'kaya devochka. Teper' ty v bezopasnosti. Ya vsegda budu zashchishchat' tebya, moy malysh. L'venok. Ya lyublyu tebya tak sil'no. Ty v bezopasnosti, detka. Ya sdelayu vse, chto mogu, chtoby pomoch' tebe, Lev. Ne volnuysya. Mama zdes'' means Don't worry, my little girl. You're safe, now. I'll always do everything I can to keep you safe, my little cub. Little Lion. I love you so much. You're safe, baby. I will do everything I can to help you, Lion. Don't worry. Mommy's here. As for Cinnamon, Red just seems like the kind of badass lady who would have a blood python. Here's Kostya the East Siberian Laika: http://www.dogbreedplus.com/dog_breeds/images/east-siberian-laika.jpg . Here's Cinnamon the Blood Python: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/TzPPO-No30Y/maxresdefault.jpg .I hope you enjoy! WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of pregnancy, mentions of drugs, discussions of abuse, implied abuse, snakes, and talk of murder and violence.

            When Red answers her door, she’s a little surprised to see Nicky and another girl. The other girl is tall, with green eyes framed by glasses, and long black hair. The glances at Nicky, who looks at her feet. Still, she lets them in.

            “You wanna tell me what’s going on here?”

            Nicky opens her mouth, before shutting it. “Can I go take Kostya outside? And…Maybe Alex can tell you?”

            If Red was concerned before, now she’s fucking worried. _She’s gotten a girl pregnant. Somebody hurt her. She’s on drugs. Fucking hell, what is she so scared to tell me?!_

            Red nods, and Nicky goes into the backyard, the redhead’s fluffy dog on her heels. As soon as Nicky leaves, the older woman gives Alex a once-over. “If you’re hurting my daughter, I’ll kill you. I mean that. You either treat her right, or don’t see her. Do I make myself clear, Stretch?”

            The brunette nods. “I understand. But that’s not why we’re here, Mrs. Reznikov.”

            “It’s Red, honey. Now go on.”

            Alex nervously launches into her confession that isn’t even hers. She tells Red about finding out about Marka’s abuse of Nicky, only going into as much detail as is necessary. She doesn’t want to tell Red everything, without her girlfriend’s explicit permission.

               “ _Ya vydokhnu eto chertovo der'mo! Klyanus' trakhat' Boga, ya ub'yu yeye! Ona ili umret, ili pozhaleyet, chto k tomu vremeni, kak ya zakonchil s ney!”_ Red snarls out her response, voice a low, terrifying growl.

               Alex has no idea what the redhead is saying, but it makes her shudder. She’s fairly certain that the Russian is plotting Marka’s death, and her angry voice is scary. Red gets up off of the couch that Alex is still sitting on, and begins pacing, growling out more Russian as she does.

               She stops when she hears a tentative knock at the back door of her house. She opens the door, and finds Nicky standing there. “Hey…Are you done talking?”

               Red sighs, and nods. She pulls Nicky inside, and hugs her tightly. Alex watches, feeling like an intruder, as the blonde begins sobbing into her mother’s shoulder.

               _“Ne boysya, malen'kaya devochka. Teper' ty v bezopasnosti. Ya vsegda budu zashchishchat' tebya, moy malysh. L'venok. Ya lyublyu tebya tak sil'no. Ty v bezopasnosti, detka. Ya sdelayu vse, chto mogu, chtoby pomoch' tebe, Lev. Ne volnuysya. Mama zdes'.”_ Red rubs her daughter’s back in an attempt to comfort her, murmuring Russian in a quiet soothing voice.

               Alex is genuinely impressed by Red’s rapid change. Although, she figures that she would do the same thing if she found out that someone was hurting her child. She hesitates, before walking over to join the embrace.

               The mother and daughter welcome her, and Alex clutches onto Nicky tightly. It takes several minutes for Nicky to calm down enough to stop crying. When she does, she wriggles out of their grasp, and walks over to stare into the tank in the corner, silently.

               “It’s ok, Honey. We’ll talk whenever you’re ready.”

               Alex follows Red back to the couch, and the two women sit down. The brunette wonders how easily Red is able to get control of her own emotions. _It’s a very impressive feat._

               It takes a good 20 minutes for Nicky to come over to the sofa. When does walk over to join them, Alex notices that there’s a large red and gold snake wrapped around her arm. _That must be what was in the tank._

               Red smiles, and pats the spot between the two of them. Nicky sits. “Good girl. I see you’ve got Cinnamon. I have to say, the feel of a snake’s scales are one of the most comforting things. Right up there with family and good meals.”

              Nicky doesn’t respond, merely stroking the python on her arm. Cinnamon flicks her tongue out, touching Nicky’s finger. The blonde cracks a tiny smile.

               “So, we know the problem. Now, how do we go about solving it?”


	9. Keep The Wolf Back From The Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new friend tries to help Nicky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. Again, little to no excuse as to why this chapter is late. Exams, the flu, family stuff, etc. Take your pick of excuses. All of them apply Also, new character, who happens to be one of my fav side-characters from the show! 'Ona-Lev' means 'She-Lion' in Russian, according to Google Translate. I have no idea how child abuse cases and reports go irl, so I hope this is accurate enough. About the physical abuse, I know that Nicky said before in an earlier chapter that Marka didn't hit her. However, she says this because the physical abuse only happened twice, very sporadically, aside form spankings as a child. And Nicky probably didn't consider any of this 'real' abuse or 'real' hitting. That's why. Sorry, if there was any confusion about that. The title of this chapter comes from the song The Wolf by Mumford and Sons. I hope you enjoy! WARNING: This chapter contains mentions and descriptions of emotional, physical, and verbal abuse, homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia, alcoholism, homophobic slurs, victim blaming, PTSD and its symptoms, and food.

        The plan is relatively easy to execute. Red has a friend who's a police officer, and who happens to be very sympathetic to children. Alex and Nicky wait on the couch while Red calls Officer Fischer.

        By the time the officer in question arrives, the three of them are sitting in the living room, a pot of tea on the table. The redhead gets up to answer the door, and Nicky curls into Alex's embrace. The brunette kisses her forehead.

        A tall woman wearing a police uniform enters the room. She smiles gently at the teens on the couch. "Hi. I'm Officer Susan Fischer. If it's ok, I'd like to talk to each of you separately. Would that be all right?"

        Nicky sighs, and nods. "So who's going first?"

        "Well, since it's your case, I'd like to talk with you first, Nicky. We can go in another room, or Red and your friend can leave for a minute. Whatever makes you comfortable."

        Within the next few minutes, Red and Alex leave the room. The taller woman sits across from Nicky, and takes out a notepad and pen. "Whenever you're ready, Nicky, could you tell me about what's going on between you and your mother?"

        The blonde shudders slightly. "I mean…I didn't think that just words could be abuse, y'know? But Alex found out about the shit she says to me. And the shit she did to me when I was younger. Apparently, it's abusive. It always really hurt me, but I didn't think it was important."

        "What exactly did she do?"

        "She'll just…call me slurs and insult me. She'll call me a 'faggot', and a 'fuck-up'. She'll tell me I'm why her life is shit, I'm why she gets drunk. She keeps saying that if I don't straighten up, she'll smack me. I mean, she's never hit me, aside from spanking when I was a kid, except for once or twice. But I didn't really say that part to Alex, because it's not abusive. She didn't _really_ do anything, anyway. Just a little smack on the head when I was being a shit. I mean, every parent does that, right?"

        Nicky looks up at Susan, hopefully. She's obviously terrified, and wants to be told that she's right. She wants to be told that her relationship with her birthmother is healthy, and loving. The officer feels terrible for her.

        "That's not healthy, Nicky. But you can keep talking."

        Nicky shifts uneasily. "Uh, that's pretty much all that happens now. She used to leave me at home alone a lot when I was really little. But I can take care of myself now, so it's ok. Besides, she was really busy, y'know? Providing for me and shit. It's my own fault, anyway."

        "Nicky, none of this was your fault. You're the victim here. What your mother does is abusive. But I'm going to do everything I can to help you."

* * *

        A couple hours later, Susan leaves with all the information she needs from them. Alex, Nicky, and Red are all back in the living room, having all talked individually to Officer Fischer. The blonde is shaken up, but dry-eyed.

        "I hope she can get all the evidence she needs just from us. I doubt a stupid kid's claims as enough," Nicky mutters.

        "Don't talk like that, Ona-Lev. You know better. We have to remain hopeful." Red lifts her daughter's chin, to look into her eyes. "Give me a smile."

        Nicky's lips slowly curl. Red kisses the top of her head. "There we are! Now, how about you two come with me to the store, so we can get some things for dinner?"

* * *

        The three women are in the produce section, Red looking at the prices of peppers, while Nicky points to the melons and tells jokes to her girlfriend. Alex is chuckling at a particularly lewd whisper, when she hears Nicky let out a little hiccupped gasp. She turns to see the blonde, frozen in place, doe eyes even bigger than usual.

        Alex follows her gaze, and sees the one person she was hoping that her girlfriend would never have to see again. Marka Nichols is standing a few yards away, looking angrier than the brunette has ever seen her. She takes a step in front of Nicky, trying to shield her from the onslaught that is to come, as the older woman comes over to them.


	10. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red confronts Marka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for this being so late, except maybe writer's block. But it's here now. Shoutout to AliceSloane13 on FanFiction, for being a pal and listening to my fic ideas and such. Go read her stuff, it's kickass. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! WARNING: This chapter contains referenced/implied abuse, talk of abuse, implied/referenced violence, mentions of death, implied/referenced transphobia, implied/referenced queerphobia, PTSD and its symptoms, and food.

        Alex stands up straighter, trying to make herself look big and intimidating. Marka still stops in front of her, but before the older woman can open her mouth, Red appears next to Alex. She takes a step in front of the brunette, in an unconscious gesture of defense.

        Alex feels faintly touched that Red feels the need to defend her as well. She is unable to dwell on that fact, however, as Red begins telling Marka to back off. Alex quickly takes out her phone, and begins recording, just in case the older blonde says something incriminating.

        "You do not get to talk to her ever again. She's not yours anymore. You lost that opportunity long ago. Now, I suggest you leave, before things get ugly," Red growls.

        "And just who are you supposed to be, telling me I can't talk to my kid?!"

        "She is _not_ yours. And I'm a decent person, trying to keep my girl from having to interact with her abuser. I'll give you one last chance. Leave."

        Marka tries to push past them, and grab Nicky. The girl's eyes bulge in fear, and she backs up. Red grabs the older blonde's arm, while Alex goes over to Nicky.

        "That's it! I've been more than fair to you! Have you ever seen someone beg for death? Because I have. I've been the one they're begging to. You think I'm bluffing, I can see it in your eyes. Have you ever heard the name 'Reznikov' before? Oh, I think you have. You're scared now. Wasn't it just so horrible to hear that such a dangerous person was let free? Now, I'm a bit out of practice, but I'm sure I could find a Guinea pig," Red says, a predatory smirk appearing on her face. Her eyes are full of fury, as she begins stepping closer to Marka, who backs up in response.

        The terrified woman leaves, with a huff. Red smiles, turning back to Alex and Nicky. She walks toward them and hugs them tightly. "It's ok, girls."

* * *

        The shopping is finished mostly in silence. Nicky's still shaky and scared, holding tightly to Alex's sleeve. The brunette is concerned, but Red's carrying on as if nothing is off with her daughter.

* * *

        They get home, and unload the groceries. Red gets out some ingredients for dinner. "Nicky, how about you head upstairs and clean up? Alex and I will fix dinner."

        The blonde scurries upstairs, seemingly eager to be alone. Alex turns to Red, who nods. "I figured you might be wondering. Come help me cook, and I'll tell you what I know."

* * *

        "So why's she all quiet?"

        Red's chopping vegetables, while Alex keeps an eye on the rice. "Sometimes, when she gets really freaked out, this happens. I think it's her own way of coping, and processing bad things. She'll talk to us about it once she feels better. Don't try to get her to talk about it until then. And if she wants space, give it to her. If you overstimulate her, or make her feel like she doesn't have an escape route, then she'll just feel worse."

        "Ok. I can do that. Is she gonna be ok, though?" Alex is concerned for her girlfriend, and even if this has happened before, she's never seen it.

        "She'll be fine. Trust me. A mother knows."

* * *

        By the time Nicky comes back down, freshly showered, hair looking less messy than usual, dinner is finished. Red's departed from her usual Russian dishes, and opted for Stir-Fry, knowing that it's a favorite comfort food of Nicky's. They all curl up in the living room with a bowl. Nicky smiles.

        "Thanks, Ma."


	11. Run and Disappear in the Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan watches a video, and Nicky climbs a tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is late. The climbing trees thing is taken from personal experience. Getting to a place where you can see/hear others, but they can't see/hear you is a huge advantage, and often makes me feel safe. That's why I personally will often find hiding places, and the branches of a tree is one of the best hiding places that I've found. The title of this chapter is taken from Run Boy Run by Woodkid. WARNING: This chapter contains panic attacks, mental illness and its symptoms, intrusive thoughts, paranoia, anxiety, delusions (possibly), implied abuse, references to sex, references to bullying, and references to abuse.

        The day after the confrontation in the store, Red invites Susan Fischer back over to review the new evidence. Nicky, having curled up in Red's bed the night before, is awoken by Alex knocking on the door. The brunette cracks it open, slowly.

        Nicky chuckles. "Come on in, I'm gonna get dressed. Nothing you haven't seen before."

        Alex smiles gently, and goes over to her shorter girlfriend. She places her hands on the blonde's hips and kisses her. Nicky smiles into it.

        "Nick, I should tell you…Fischer's coming over to look over the video, and to talk to us."

        Alex feels like shit when Nicky freezes up. The events of the day before flood the blonde's mind, as her chest tightens. Her breathing quickens.

        The blonde wrenches herself from her girlfriend's grasp, moving to pace around the room, a hand rubbing over her heart. "Oh shit. Fuck, I'm sorry!"

* * *

        After calming Nicky down from a panic attack, the two of them finish getting ready, and head downstairs. Nicky's still shaky, but seems mostly there. Alex still feels horribly guilty, as they sit at the kitchen table.

        Red's downstairs making some tea for everyone. She places a cup in front of each girl. Alex sips the tea. It's comforting.

* * *

        When Susan Fischer arrives, there is an air of uncertainty in the house. Everyone seems nervous, even Red's pets. Kostya whines quietly, and leans against Nicky's leg. The blonde mindlessly reaches a hand down to stroke his fur.

        No one is on edge because they fear or dislike Susan. However, they all cannot help but to be worried about the case they have against Marka and for Nicky. Even if they get Nicky out of that situation, what happens next? None of them have an answer.

        "Hi everybody. I hope you're all having a good morning. So, you have new evidence?"

        Alex steps forward. "I do. Marka confronted Nicky in a store yesterday, probably because of cops sniffing around her lately. I got part of it on video."

        "Could I see it, please?"

        Alex fishes her phone out of her pocket, and scrolls through until she finds the video from their trip to the store yesterday. She hands it Susan. The officer leaves the room for a moment to watch it.

        When she returns, she looks concerned. Nicky reaches for her girlfriend's hand. Her grip is tight and clammy. Alex grips her hand back, even tighter.

* * *

        Susan leaves after the four of them review and discuss the footage. Nicky seems impossibly glad about it being over. Red and Alex can't blame her.

        The blonde quickly slinks off to gain back her energy after dealing with something so emotionally exhausting. She heads to the guest room, and shuts the door behind her. It's fine, but it's not enough. She needs to be in a position where she cannot be attacked.

        In her terrified brain, she can't help but feel as though _she's in danger_. She knows, rationally, that it isn't true. That doesn't help her at all. The only solution, in her mind, is to _get up and away._

        She's familiar with this feeling. She knows how to soothe it. _Get to a place where they can't see you, and you're safe._ She opens the bedroom window, preparing herself. She's lucky that the massive tree in Red's backyard has a large, thick branch so close to the window. She's taken to this route many times for the same reasons.

        She shimmies easily onto the branch by the window, and climbs to a thicker, higher branch. She's able to sit comfortably, and see all around. The leaves offer a decent covering, so she isn't exposed either.

        Nicky smiles as she remembers climbing trees as a young child. Trees had been a way to escape. Often when she felt she was in danger, and was able to get away, she would climb the nearest suitable tree. It offered protection, and an advantage. Whether it be running from bullies on the playground, or running from her anxiety, climbing trees always help her feel safer.


	12. Love-bug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tags along with Nicky to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is nearly a month late. I've had some personal stuff going on, and it's been taking up almost all my time and energy. This chapter is pretty fluffy. I decided to give y'all a break from the angst party. Love-bug is a real dog that I worked with at my local shelter. He's a cutie pie. Also, as most of you probably know, my friend AliceSloane13 on Fan Fiction has been having a difficult time, and will be on hiatus for a while. I encourage you to send her all your love and support! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. WARNING: This chapter contains implied abuse, references to self-harm, slight germaphobia possibly, anxiety, and kissing.

        The next day, Nicky insists that she has to go back to work. Having taken a few days off to deal with getting enough evidence to take on her birthmother, she really needs to show up now. Alex decides to go with her, if only to keep an eye on her, and make sure the blonde doesn't do anything she shouldn't.

        Nicky and Alex drive to the shelter, the smaller girl eagerly telling Alex about her adventures while working there. The brunette smiles at her girlfriend, happy that Nicky enjoys her job so much.

        They soon arrive, Alex realizes, upon seeing the sign that reads 'Oak Animal Shelter'. They park, and head inside. Nicky signs in for her shift, while Alex signs some papers to be allowed to tag along and help.

        When all the papers are signed and filled out, the blonde grabs a leash, and leads her girlfriend through a door toward the back of the main room. Alex is assaulted by loud barks, howls, and growls, as well as strong smells of dog and urine. She looks around in nervous awe at the rows of dogs in small cells. Each cell has a sign on the front, informing the reader of the dog's general information. The signs are also color-coded, with some green, some orange, and some yellow.

        Nicky walks over to a particular cell, and grins. Alex comes over to examine its occupant. She sees a dog, wagging its tail. The green sign on the dog's cell reads:

        · 'Name: Love-bug

        · Temperament: Affectionate

        · Physical Description: White fur with brown patches, short fur, brown nose, brown eyes

        · Breed: Pit bull mix

        · Sex: Male

        · Health: Neutered, no serious issues

        · Age: 3 years'

        Nicky unlocks the door to the cell, and loops the leash around Love-bug's neck. They lead the dog to a large fenced-in yard behind the main building. She smiles as she undoes the dog's leash. Love-bug promptly tackles Nicky. Alex jumps, ready to pry the dog off of her girlfriend if need be, until she realizes that Nicky is laughing as Love-bug licks her face.

        "Missed me, huh? Sorry I've been gone, bud. Had a lot going on. Still do. But I'll try not to let it keep me from coming to see you as much."

        Nicky's grinning and petting the white dog. Suddenly, Love-bug runs over to something in the grass. He comes back over, carrying a ball in his mouth.

        Nicky laughs, and throws it for him. The mutt chases after it, happily. She looks over to Alex for the first time since coming outside with Love-bug.

        "What do you think?"

        "I think it's a great job."

        Nicky smiles. "It's not all just playing fetch. After Love-bug gets tired out, we're gonna have to change probably at least 10 litter boxes."

        "Why did I decide to help you?" Alex groans.

        Nicky cackles, as Love-bug returns with his ball.

* * *

        The cleaning of the litter boxes goes about as well as can be expected. Alex is disgusted, while Nicky finds her fear of touching even the outside of one of the boxes amusing. Having worked at the shelter for a few years, and having had a cat since she was 10, changing cat boxes is normal for Nicky. Alex has never even had a pet fish.

        "You want me to see if I can find you some gloves?" Nicky asks her girlfriend.

        Alex looks up, eyes wide. "Please?"

        Nicky chuckles, and leaves the room, returning a few moments later with a pair of rubber gloves. Alex takes the eagerly. Nicky stands up on her tip toes to peck the brunette on the cheek, as she passes her to go over to the box she's currently cleaning.

* * *

        By the time the work day is over, Alex is amazed with her girlfriend. Nicky can deal with being tackled by dogs, cleaning up shit and piss, and occasionally ventures into the other building to feed the rabid dogs. Despite her exhaustion and disgust, Alex is happy. It's been a fun day, even if she stinks.

        "My jobs have usually been garden variety waitressing, odd jobs, and library positions."

        Nicky smiles at Alex. "I like getting my hands dirty. During the summers, I usually work at a barn in the next town over. I'll have to introduce you to the horses there sometime."

        "I'd like that," Alex returns her smile, before kissing the blonde.


	13. Vague Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confused and angry Nicky makes a possibly rash decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is late. I've had a fuckton going on. I'm back in serious therapy again, due to stuff going on in my life rn. But, on the bright side, yesterday marks 6 months clean for me! I'm proud of myself, even if time is meaningless. Anyway, a new (to this fic anyway) character is introduced in this chapter. This chapter is shorter than the others, but fuck it, I'm tired. I hope you enjoy this chapter! WARNING: This chapter contains discussion of child abuse, references to abuse, references tot transphobia, and PTSD and its symptoms.

            Susan shows up yet again, making Nicky nervous again. With each visit from the young police officer, the blonde teen gets more and more worried that something will go wrong. However, she’s merely coming to let her know that they’ve been investigating Marka, and have found out that she’s an even more gossipy person than she seems. Apparently there are quite a few of Marka’s associates that know of her contempt with her daughter, and have tried to help Nicky in the past.

            “Oh, wait, Paloma? Yeah, she was my nanny for a while. We were tight. What about her?”

            “Well, she seems to know a few things that you didn’t tell me, about what Marka has done to you.”

            Nicky pales, slightly. She swallows, and shuts her eyes for a moment. “Like what? I told you all I remember.”

            “Like the abuse from your mother’s previous boyfriends, that she allowed and encouraged.”

            “The fuck are you talking about? I think I’d remember that.”

            Susan looks at her pityingly. “Sometimes after trauma, people, especially children, will block things out of their memory as a way to cope.”

            Nicky is filled with fury. Her body is shaking. “Get the fuck out of my house. And don’t come back until you have something useful to say, instead of lying to me.”

* * *

 

            Later that day, Nicky’s phone buzzes with a call from an unknown number. She tentatively answers. “Hello?”

            “Nicky?” The accented voice of her former nanny is immediately familiar.

            “Paloma? Why are you calling me now?” Nicky is incredulous.

            “A police officer talked to me today, asking about your mother. I think we should talk.”

            Nicky cackles. “After eight years, you come to my rescue? Do you know how long I pretended you were my mom, and then you didn’t talk to me for either years?”

            “Nicky, honey, I’m sorry. I know I was wrong, but I wasn’t in a position where I could do anything to help you. Please, let me see you, so I can explain.”

            “…I’ll think about it. I’ll get back to you, when I’ve made my decision. Until then, don’t contact me.”

            “Nicky-“

            The blonde teen hangs up, before her former nanny could finish. She feels no guilt, only anger. She’s not even completely sure why she’s so angry, but she is. Angrier than she can ever remember being.

* * *

 

            Nicky isn’t sure why she decides to go back to Marka’s. Maybe it’s a form of self-punishment. Maybe it’s out of her fury, and a desire to confront her. It’s been a few weeks since she’s went back to do more than pick up some of her personal belongings, and to care for Jasper.

            However, as she arrives at the large house, she sees another car in the driveway. Not Marka’s or her own. The car is vaguely familiar, but she can’t place it. Still, she cautiously enters the front door, only to see a brown woman with black hair and brown eyes, in a casual dress arguing with Marka. Nicky is dumbfounded, and can’t stop herself from asking the single question on her mind.

            “Paloma?”


	14. Little Fang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicky goes back to visit Marka's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'd like to apologize for the 2-month long hiatus, and the empty promises of quick updates. I'd rather not get into why I've been avoiding updating this story. Nicky's nickname in this is taken from Little Fang by Avey Tares Slasher Flicks, bc that song is bomb af, as well as Red giving Nicky lion-related nicknames bc of her hair. Anyway, according to Google translate 'Ne boysya monstrov, lyubov' moya. Ty sil'neye vsekh, moya malen'kaya veshch'.' means 'Don't be afraid of monsters, my love. You're stronger than all of them, my little fanged-thing.' and 'Khoroshaya devochka, moy Nikita.' means 'Good girl, my Nikita.' Anyway, this chapter has someone planning on confronting their abuser, but then backing out. I do not mean to encourage anyone to confront their abusers, bc that can be a very dangerous thing. Also, as far as Paloma goes, I'm trying to make her a difficult character to place as far as her morality. Sure, she appears to be trying to help now, but she didn't help earlier. Can she really be trusted? And should she be? Idk. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy this chapter. WARNING: This chapter contains anxiety and its symptoms, abuse, child abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting, transphobia, queerphobia, self-blaming, self-hatred, mentions of drugs, trauma, and PTSD and its symptoms.

        Paloma looks to Nicky, a pained expression on her face. Marka, meanwhile, smirks. The younger blonde feels her blood run cold, and she slowly tries to move back toward the door, as her birthmother starts to approach. All her previous bravado is quickly evaporating, at the sight of that familiar cruel face.

        "What are you doing back here,  _son_?"

 _Fuck. Fuck, what do I do?_  Nicky thinks, feeling terrified. Marka is always cruel. But she is only ever smug if things are about to get really bad for the younger blonde.

        The teen hears a familiar voice in the back of her mind. Her mother, her  _real_ mother, reassuring her, years ago, on a particularly bad night.  _Ne boysya monstrov, lyubov' moya. Ty sil'neye vsekh, moya malen'kaya veshch'_. Nicky feels anger rise within her breast. Anger at the woman who made her childhood hell, who still seems determined to do bad by her.

        "I'm here to get some things. Then I'm leaving. So, you won't have to deal with my presence for much longer," She says carefully, but still defiantly.

        "Oh, but why wouldn't I want you around, Nicholas? You're my son. I love you," Marka replies, voice as sweet, slow, and sickly as cough medicine.

        The blonde teen doesn't reply, instead side-stepping around the older woman. In all the tension, she had forgotten that Paloma is in the room. When Nicky heads upstairs to her old bedroom, her former nanny follows, and closes the door behind them, making the younger woman jump, and turn around.

        "Sorry you had to see that," Nicky says, looking away from her former caretaker, to the brindle cat curled up on her bed. She smiles slightly, and reaches a hand out to scratch under his chin. He purrs, gets up, stretches, and moves to rub against her.

        "I'm sorry that had to happen to you, Nicky," The brunette replies, sounding earnest.

        "I'm used to it."

        "Nicky…I want to help you. A police officer talked to me last week. She said her name was Susan Fischer, and that she was trying to help you get out of Marka's custody. Is that true?"

        "Yeah, but why do you care? You obviously knew things and you didn't do shit. You could have helped me, and you didn't. Why? Did she threaten you? Did she pay you off? Or did you just fucking hate me as much as her?!" The teen angrily spats.  _She thinks that she can just come back to help me eight years too late, and everything will be peachy fucking keen?!_

        Paloma sighs. "You're right. I was wrong. I should have helped you. I'll never forgive myself for not helping sooner. But I'm here now. I want to help  _now._ That cop told me that you seem to have blocked out some things that happened to you. If you were able to access those memories and use them, it could help your case. I care about you, Nicky. I always did. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm asking for you to let me help you."

        "How the fuck do I know that you're still not working for her?"

        "I'm not. All I can give you on that front is my word. If you want my help, you'll have to give me some trust. I understand that you probably hate me now, but I really want to try and make things right with us," The older brunette says. Looking into her eyes, Nicky can see that she's crying.

        "…Fine. Let me get my shit out of here, and to my home. You can come with, and we'll talk there. I'm not saying I trust or forgive you, because I don't. But I have to do this," The blonde teen says, the last part to both herself and her former nanny. In the back of her mind, she hears a distinctly Russian voice speak yet again.  _Khoroshaya devochka, moy Nikita._


End file.
